Yesterday was one of my days off of teaching, and I spent a good three hours drawing at my desk. I find it interesting that over the years of drawing, I still place expectation on an outcome. Perhaps because drawing time is so precious and almost sacred. This is a lovely intersection of art and yoga – the discipline to show up, do the work, and then… to let go of the outcome. From day to day the work may feel different, but you do it nonetheless. You simply show up. It is the T I M E that I spend drawing and the P R O C E S S of putting pencil or charcoal to paper that is where the beauty is found. The relationship, the ongoing dialogue, and the practice of NON-ATTACHMENT. Regardless of knowing this, every time I make something that is less than desired, I need to remind myself to let it go. Ah! but I should also be telling myself the same exact thing when I make something I am proud of, or when I have practiced for years (no joke) on a yoga posture and finally… finally my body takes the shape – I do feel proud of all my hard work, but also… I need to let go of that as well. It is a benchmark along the endless journey. I am neither defined by my accomplishments nor my failures.
So, just as I would post a picture that I am endlessly proud of… here is one that I am not proud of. I may work on it more today but the motivation to is quite low. I may write instead… and most likely, show up on my yoga mat as well.
It is an African violet. My grandmother who always had an African violet by her kitchen window. My sister and I have continued the tradition.